the unusual supects

September Marvel Previews

By Ryan Stevens


    Oh, comic books. You’re such a rich and engrossing medium, full of diverse and interesting characters, some much more interesting, and some much more diverse than others. Here in The Unusual Suspects, we’re going to discuss a few who primarily fall in the latter category. In this section, we will traverse treacherous terrain searching for the oddest, most mind-tickling characters to ever grace the printed page, in celebration to all the comic freaks for comic geeks* out there. From cynical, cigar-chomping mallards to ring-wielding raccoons to sentient shop mannequins, we’ll leave no four-color stone unturned in our search for The Unusual Suspects. Lets get started, shall we?

Arnim Zola:



    …Or perhaps a more accurate name would be The Nazi Web-Cam Teletubby, considering his penchant for anti-America villainy, his Kodak cranium, and the plasma-screen plastered on his stomach displaying his smug mug. Zola is a longtime foe of Captain America, and is remembered mostly for having eyeballs for pectorals.

     Zola was a genius back in the days of WWII, whose brilliant mind was embraced by the Nazi party. He created a device that would transport someone’s brain patterns into a cloned body, which Hitler would later use to create the original Hate-Monger. Zola also cobbled together his silly robot body in order to survive into the modern world, where he continually menaces the heroes of the present-day Marvel U.

    Perhaps that’s why Zola is such a bad apple; He just wants to be loved and respected, but it’s hard for people to take you seriously when your pearly whites are in your abs.

Mr. Mxyzptlk:



    Let’s begin by sounding that out phonetically: Mr. Mix-Yez-Pittle-Ick
. At least, that’s how the people I know pronounce it. That may be incorrect. But, honestly, who’s to say how to pronounce THAT name, short (no pun intended) of Mr. Mxyomommaptlk  himself?

    Mr.Mxthelimeinthecoconutptlk is most commonly a foe of Superman. The Man of Steel seems to be the perfect foe for the derby hat-wearing miscreant, who comes from some place called The 5th Dimension, which is apparently filled with all sorts of absurdities such as Mr. Mxydeusexmachinaptlk, and this guy, called Qwsp:


    But we’re not here to talk about him. Trust me, there will be a time and a place for giving Qwsp his due. Right now, we’re talking about Mr. Mxyziggystardustptlk . The aforementioned imp has near-limitless power derived from his home-dimension, which allows him to do pretty much anything he wants. The only way to stop him is to get him to say his own name backwards (“Klpzyxm!” You’re on your own pronouncing that one. I’m just one man!) . This tiny weakness, combined with his raw power, is what makes Mr.Mksparkleptlk such an annoyance to Superman. However, he’s rarely anything more than an annoyance, usually just using his power to have such slightly mischievous fun.

    However, during the Emperor Joker storyline, The Joker stole Mxytspitlicker’s power to change all of reality as he saw fit, and then do such insane things as (and this is true) yell at the penciller of that particular issue. Thankfully, reality was fixed at the end of the story, and very few pencillers have been yelled at by their characters ever since.

Rorschach:



To close our first installment, I thought we’d examine a personal favorite of mine: Rorschach, the grim-n-gritty vigilante from Alan Moore’s Watchmen. Sporting a trench coat, fedora, and a mask that looks like a living inkblot, Rorschach was an unwavering vigilante who would apathetically kill criminals in a world that already disliked and outlawed super-heroes.

    While his M.O. and appearance (mask notwithstanding) aren’t really that weird, it’s Rorschach’s mannerisms and history that strike a bizarre (and perhaps disturbing) chord with readers. Rorschach, born Walter Joseph Kovacs, was abused by his mother as a child, so much so that when he learned of her passing years later, his reaction was a single word: “Good.” After hearing about the murder of a girl named Kitty Genovese in front of an apartment building full of tenants who didn’t help here, Rorschach fashioned his outfit (the mask coming from a dress made of peculiar fabric) and began fighting crime. Later, when investigating a kidnapping crime scene that bore gruesome evidence, Kovacs’ mind snapped, and he truly became Rorschach, brutally killing criminals, believing his mask to be his face, speaking in shorthand, and absolutely refusing to ever compromise any of his absolutist morals, even for the greater good of mankind.

    What sets Rorschach apart from other oddball characters is that he is actually thought-provoking in his eeriness. Rorschach’s unshakeable moral compass makes you take a step back and wonder if this nut job is actually on to something. For this reason, Rorschach has amassed a fairly large fanbase, and is possibly the most well-known Watchmen character, having made dozens of cameo appearances in other media and influenced numerous other comics characters. A true oddity among oddities, Rorschach has attained that which so many other outlandish characters have not: popularity.

I’m Ryan Stevens, and these…are The Unusual Suspects.

*I’d like to thank HR member jedicow for that phrase. While we’re at it, I’d also like to thank HR Mod Perry for the title of this column.

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